Have you ever found yourself, having that silent conversation in your head, (you know we all do), that you realize you just don’t care about the things that not too long ago seemed so important? That’s where I was, driving up the highway one day, chattering away with Jesus, praising and thanking Him for the life He had blessed me with.
As I thought about all the things in my life that make me so happy, I realized it was because I had stopped caring! Stopped caring about all the ‘stuﬀ’ that was taking my focus oﬀ Jesus and my pursuit of Him. The list of things I permitted myself to let go of is so long you’d be reading into next week, but the ones that I would classify as a patch of quicksand I was desperately trying to get out of was really just a few.
I found I no longer cared about or listened to the tug-a-war raging in my head, ( ever have one of those) about why I wasn’t good enough to be friends with, ( oh yes, even at 50, I wanted everyone to like and accept me) about being the cool mom, or worse yet, not being accepted into the ‘cool moms club’! I didn’t care that I could not make myself care about having the latest fashions to wear. That I might not EVER lose that dreaded last 10 lbs!!!
I wish I could say that a light bulb went off on how Jesus loved and accepted me and that He was the only one I should be trying to please. To know in my soul that He loved me, accepted me and was delighted in me, because after all, He did make me this way right? But alas, I cannot. The light bulb that finally went off was that I ACCEPTED what Jesus had been trying to FREELY give me all these years.
Jesus loves me unconditionally, He infused me with His Grace and Peace, He guided me every step and I was where HE wanted me. Have you ever known something but that game of tug-of-war playing in your head kept leading you right back to the patch of quicksand? I have. Over and over again. Thank God for His patience. Until that day I was flying up on the highway(I’m kidding, I was doing the speed limit), when I realized I LOVED my life, I LOVED who I was and how God had blessed my life. That was the light bulb that finally lit up my darkness.
I had truly stopped caring about what people thought of me. I only cared about what Jesus thought of me. That is when I knew I was FREE! As I was knocking on the door of 50, I knew I was where God wanted me to be. I was 50 and FREE. Free to be me! As I look back over the last 20 plus years of my life, think of all the good and bad, yes, some very heavy stuff, that has happened in my life and family, and how I had to cleave to Jesus just to make it to the next day.
I realized that just maybe my experiences with our amazingly faithful God could be helpful to other women that have faced hardship and want to see how Jesus can help them too. So my mission through this blog is to take all that I have gone through and share how Jesus used it all for HIS GLORY, and changed me into a chasing Jesus kind of girl.